Five Stages

From three bathrooms to one. Walking anywhere involves steps- lots of steps. Hauling firewood. Driving on the left side. No friends. So much adjustment.

When I was a Fulbright scholar in Israel, we had an orientation with a lesson that has stuck with me all these years. Some of you may know the Kubler-Ross model for dealing with loss (aka "five stages of grief")- but did you know they apply to culture shock as well? We just add one more, "Euphoria" (I like to imagine this said in the delicious Israeli accent that makes it sound like it is coming from deep in the throat and fills the mouth). Here is how they are playing out in the Simon household:

1. Euphoria- Fran is finally reunited with her Pacific Ocean. Seeing it every day puts her in a state of joy I have rarely seen in her. You've seen the photos.

2. Anger- Everyone must get the f*&! out of my way. The dishes, shoes not put back, Fran's random misuse of a word... I could punch someone. Okay, it turned out that I was wrong about the word (did you know that "cult" originally didn't have a negative connotation?). Sure, I'm on my period, but really, you can all sc@#w yourselves.


3. Denial- We brought ketchup from the US after someone told us we would miss it; upon seeing it in our local grocery store, Fran couldn't get over our foolishness. "See, you can get whatever you need here." Yeahhhh, right. Just keep telling yourself that. She also keeps saying how Dunedin reminds her of the Oakland hills. If the Oakland hills were full of tree ferns.

"See, they even have "Little Libraries!"

4. Bargaining- I keep thinking, "Once I can get us all on a regular schedule, a routine, everything will feel right."

5. Depression- Yesterday, Jeremy said, "Mama, I'm feeling your stages," making me very glad that I had brought up this grief-model the first day we were here. His mouth still hurts sometimes from the surgery a week ago, his legs hurt from climbing the hills... but really, he just feels low because it is a big adjustment. It's okay, it will pass.

"...and stop with the pictures, Mama!"

6. Acceptance- Tomorrow we will have been here a week. I know acceptance will come. We might take turns through the stages but we will get there. If only Jeremy will start using the chore check list...