First Impressions of Kiwis

In response to a request from a reader, what follows is my top five observations about New Zealanders (called Kiwis). Given that we haven't been here even a month yet, these are really just first impressions.

"Rainbow families of Dunedin" that Fran organized

1. Yes, they are really, really friendly and helpful
This may be a case of "you find what you expect," but I'm glad for it. One of many examples is the man we passed on the street who was hauling firewood- we asked him where he got it and he took the time to go into his house to find the phone number. Then we talked for 15 more minutes about community orchestra (don't ask). Everywhere we go, people are very welcoming.

Jeremy in his new Dunedin Archery Club shirt

2. Clothes are for comfort
Think of the opposite of L.A.'s glam and pressure. Comfort and practicality generally rule the wardrobe. Women don't wear much makeup if any, and high heels are a rare species. The only people I've met so far that seemed to bother much with their appearance is a fun mom who had dyed her short-cropped silver hair neon pink and wore a matching scarf, and a trans woman we met in the park who described herself as a "mad artist." That is, one's clothes can be a vehicle of self-expression, but no one is trying to uphold any absurd beauty standards. Nor are clothes for advertisement- people don't seem to flash labels or logo-printed shirts much.

A "super fan" at the Highlands Rugby game

3. College students are the same everywhere
The other night we went to a rugby game (here called football or "footie"- soccer is called soccer) and sat next to "The Zoo"-- the section for students from the University of Otago. Dressed in jumpsuits of blue and and orange (the latter is for the beer sponsor of the team), they reminded me very much of my first college football game, the "Fighting Illini." That is, screaming, drunk, and enjoying youth. We were even treated to a streaker!

"The Zoo"

4. American politics fascinate and appall them
Everyone, even children here, seem very knowledgable about what is going on in the U.S. and often have strong opinions about it. Said one woman to me, "When Obama was elected, we thought. 'Wow! Look what's possible in America!' Then, when Trump was elected, we thought, 'Wow! Look what's possible in America!'-- but with the opposite feeling. We were so surprised someone like that could get elected." Along the same lines, Kiwis I've talked to are puzzled and appalled by what seems like the lack of any gun controls in the U.S., which is viewed as a very violent place.

5. "Sport" is enjoyed and appreciated, but...
A ball-sport enthusiast we met yesterday spoke in awe of the sports culture of the U.S., in part because of how small and isolated New Zealand is (323 million vs. NZ's 4.7 million; about the same as Louisiana). For example, the biggest sports events are necessarily international ones, unlike in the U.S. where international competitions don't garner near the viewership or sponsorship of the Super Bowl and the World Series. Nor do sports dominate Universities' budgets or attention as in the U.S.. For example, for rugby, the U of Otago actually sponsors the local professional rugby team, the Highlanders, while students play in club teams in the city league.

The "Best Day"

Fran with stuffed albatross at the Otago Museum

How can it be that every day we are doing so much, and yet it feels like we are hardly making a dent in the list of things we want to do?

Yesterday Jeremy said it was "the best day of his life so far"-- quite a sentiment given all of the wonderful experiences he has had during his 10 years. He was even debating whether or not to top it all off with a bubble bath that evening; he said that might just set the bar for the next "best day" too high. What made it so wonderful? Read on...

Jeremy meets his people, here enjoying L&P soda

The day began with our first session with the tutor, which he felt positive about, and a Skype session with Denver friends Stephanie and Charles. After a lunch of Ramen noodles (Jeremy calls them "Roman noodles," a new favorite since we came to NZ), we went to the Otago Museum to meet a couple of boys whose mothers had responded to Fran's post on the FB page "Mums of Dunedin." These two intelligent and spirited boys, Jack and Wyatt, turned out to be Jeremy's Kiwi twins: Jack's mom had to take away his folding knife (can't have in the museum) and Wyatt was excited to already be planning a paintball birthday for later this fall. Of course, Jeremy has good friends named Wyatt and Jack back in Denver, so that made it seem all the more pre-destined.

Jeremy hiding under a sea turtle's shell at the museum 

They ran all over the museum together, petting the stuffed 3m-tall moa, climbing on the giant crocodile, finding the camouflaged jeweled gecko ("The only alive thing in here!") and other fun.

After this, we went to a boxing gym; Jeremy had expressed interest in trying it out.

In short, he had "the greatest workout of his life" and a great time. It turns out that all that fighting with Fran has paid off- he has quite a nice left hook! There was a good walk from there to the Octagon (city center), during which we passed some cool monuments and public art.

I believe this is a penguin. Note my New Zealand crazy hair.

To celebrate, we visited Nova, the upscale restaurant adjoined with the art museum that serves injectable donuts. For the filling, Fran chose the chocolate and hazelnut, I chose the seasonal wild-berry jam, and Jeremy chose raspberry.

Finally, to make this the truly best day ever, we then went next door to the movie theater to see Black Panther! For those not in the know, this is one of the most anticipated superhero movies ever.  According to Forbes, "Since it opened above the $174 million opening weekend of Iron Man 3, Black Panther has the new milestone for a solo superhero Fri-Sun debut." along with breaking several other records. 

Look ma, 3-D!

In short, it was worth all of the hype. The story-line, the casting, the acting, the sets, and the costumes were all amazing. I can't remember the last time I wanted to buy a sound track (maybe Thelma and Louise?); this one not only made me reminisce about the 2 years I've spent in East Africa, but it also had danceable modern scores.  Every time I had a "Yes, but..." moment, the screenplay addressed it. The fight scenes were the best I've seen (and Jeremy has made me suffer through many), and the message was elevating. Jeremy said it was the best Marvel movie he's seen, which is saying a lot because he's such a fan of the Cap'tn movies (BTW, he says the character he most identifies with from those is Sam Wilson's Falcon). We stayed through all the credits as usual and were rewarded with a great "stinger" (no spoilers here!).

In the end, he decided yes on the bubble bath, and then we read chapter 13 of The Hobbit, which put Fran to sleep as usual. The best day, indeed!

If you enjoyed this post, please leave a comment. I'd love to hear what types of posts you would like to see in the future: about our house/the city? the food? people? our adventures? Thanks for joining us!

Letting Beauty Do The Work

Turns out, all I needed was a few days in nature. While Fran has her ocean, my heart responds to forest (or as they say here "far-est"). And what incredible forests they have! As one student said to me, "You can imagine a dinosaur coming through." Yes, I'm finally interacting with students.

They did great without me. See the rainbow?

This week I let Fran and Jeremy fend for themselves for a few days while I went along to help out with the junior-year ecology field trip at the Catlins, in which students develop a research question, design an experiment to test it, and collect the data- then when they get back to campus they analyze the data and write up a paper. Several extra faculty come to help with the first steps. I was excited to consult on three projects: one with an evolutionary question about epiphytes (plants that grow on other plants and trees), one investigating insect communities in forest versus wetlands, and one looking at snail habitat.

The Catlins is the coastline area on the southern tip of New Zealand, and has stunning beaches, dense forest with at least four species of tree ferns, and other types of ecosystems including the peat bog pictured above. Although you can't see it, the ground is literally spongey. I enjoyed helping (mostly watching) the students set up their traps for moths and ground crawling insects.

Sir Alan, talking to student Taylor, who broke his arm skateboarding

A highlight of the trip was also meeting the other faculty, including Sir Alan Mark, knighted (yes, really) for his conservation work.

I came home to Valentine's roses, a beautiful card and chocolate! The next day our Colorado friends Sandra and Scott came to stay with us, and we went on a hike in the Flagstaff Reserve.

Jeremy was completely exhausted by the climb up the hill.

But was sustained by a discovery of a blackberry bush.

The view was incredible.

I think we've all reached some level of acceptance of our new surroundings and are enjoying both New Zealand and each other. The beauty of this stunning landscape certainly helps.

Five Stages

From three bathrooms to one. Walking anywhere involves steps- lots of steps. Hauling firewood. Driving on the left side. No friends. So much adjustment.

When I was a Fulbright scholar in Israel, we had an orientation with a lesson that has stuck with me all these years. Some of you may know the Kubler-Ross model for dealing with loss (aka "five stages of grief")- but did you know they apply to culture shock as well? We just add one more, "Euphoria" (I like to imagine this said in the delicious Israeli accent that makes it sound like it is coming from deep in the throat and fills the mouth). Here is how they are playing out in the Simon household:

1. Euphoria- Fran is finally reunited with her Pacific Ocean. Seeing it every day puts her in a state of joy I have rarely seen in her. You've seen the photos.

2. Anger- Everyone must get the f*&! out of my way. The dishes, shoes not put back, Fran's random misuse of a word... I could punch someone. Okay, it turned out that I was wrong about the word (did you know that "cult" originally didn't have a negative connotation?). Sure, I'm on my period, but really, you can all sc@#w yourselves.


3. Denial- We brought ketchup from the US after someone told us we would miss it; upon seeing it in our local grocery store, Fran couldn't get over our foolishness. "See, you can get whatever you need here." Yeahhhh, right. Just keep telling yourself that. She also keeps saying how Dunedin reminds her of the Oakland hills. If the Oakland hills were full of tree ferns.

"See, they even have "Little Libraries!"

4. Bargaining- I keep thinking, "Once I can get us all on a regular schedule, a routine, everything will feel right."

5. Depression- Yesterday, Jeremy said, "Mama, I'm feeling your stages," making me very glad that I had brought up this grief-model the first day we were here. His mouth still hurts sometimes from the surgery a week ago, his legs hurt from climbing the hills... but really, he just feels low because it is a big adjustment. It's okay, it will pass.

"...and stop with the pictures, Mama!"

6. Acceptance- Tomorrow we will have been here a week. I know acceptance will come. We might take turns through the stages but we will get there. If only Jeremy will start using the chore check list...

A School Miracle?

What if, as a kid, you didn't have to go to elementary school? What would you gain? What would you miss? What if it was in another country?

As many of you know, immigration told us to get a "visitor" visa for Jeremy, but once we did, the local schools were no longer compelled to take him. Each we contacted said they had no room. We contacted the neighborhood school, a "state school," and a private school- all the same answer. What were we going to do? This uncertainty was my primary source of stress. Finally, so that we wouldn't be in trouble with the Colorado School Board, I applied for a homeschooling permit the day before we left the country. Had we not done this, we could have literally come home to an arrest warrant for truancy court!

But homeschooling as the actual answer worried me; what about meeting other kids? Would my sabbatical turn into an educate-Jeremy-project and make it impossible to actually get any work done? Would the family dynamic turn into us nagging him to do his school work all of the time? Everyone had (and has) opinions about this, pulling me in opposite directions.

In the past, when I've been in distress over not knowing what to do, I've found relief by "turning it over." I imagine at this point completely losing the attention, and perhaps the respect of, my secular, non-12-step friends and colleagues. I used to think prayer and woo-woo "crap" were for the small-minded and ignorant (and that's when I was feeling generous)... but then I witnessed what it did for people in recovery programs and decided to give it a try. The way it works for me is like this: I am willing to consider the possibility that there are forces far beyond me that are loving, gentle and have my back. I don't need to put a name on it, I just have to be willing to let go of the notion that it is all up to me, and just relax already. So, feeling helpless, I tried it this time. And then this happens.

The first day here, Fran sees a sign for Montessori teaching materials on a building and insists we stop in. Jeremy's school uses this pedagogy, but I already knew that there weren't any Montessori elementary schools (only preschools) in Dunedin. However, from the lady in the building we find out that there used to be, that she can lend us anything we need, and that there is a retired teacher in town who is available for tutoring. I message that teacher who immediately video calls me and we set up a time next week to get together.

So we are trying this. Maybe it will work and maybe it won't - I'm not saying this was "sent from G-d" and thus must be the right thing. I just know that it is certainly convenient and that my worrying didn't bring it about. My mom has offered to FaceTime with him daily to work on a school project (Maori culture? tall ships? stay tuned!). We will enroll him in martial arts classes and swim classes and maybe a youth orchestra to meet other kids. And we'll have more flexibility to travel and see everything we came here to see, starting with a big hike tomorrow, the warmest day forecast for the week.

Who Knew?

Fran bounded like Tigger onto the bed this morning as Jeremy and I snuggled, still bleary-eyed and jet lagged. "Let's get going already! I've been up for hours! There's a visitor center we can walk to!"

Eventually she was successful in coaxing us into our clothes, and after a breakfast of a only slightly burnt omelette that Jeremy was polite enough to eat (I'll have to get used to the new stove, pans, and altitude), we set out into what was becoming a gorgeous day.

Dunedin reminds us a bit of the Oakland Hills; our quads were getting a mighty work-out on the 1.3 km (0.8 mi) trek down, down, down to the Octagon in the city centre. As you can see, I am already morphing into a Kiwi, using the "proper" spellings and units! All the way, we enjoyed the view of the harbor and 19 degree temperatures (Celsius, of course- that's 66 F for you heathens).

Our walk took us past the green strip through the city, within which is situated Moana Pool. We saw their 6(!!!) different indoor pools, including a 4m deep diving well with a 10m platform(!), huge water slides, and weight room. We will definitely be buying a membership.

At the visitor centre, which was unusually deluged by visitors from a docked cruise ship, we signed up for a two-hour bus tour of the area to get oriented. On this tour we learned many new and even astonishing things, including the following:
- Dunedin has the steepest (35 percent grade) street in the world. Yes, even more than Lombard in San Francisco.
- New Zealand was the first country to offer women the vote, and in Dunedin, the first public girls high school in the southern hemisphere was opened in 1871... purposefully before the boys school to make a bold statement about the importance of girls education.
- Dunedin was founded by Scots and features beautiful Gothic Revival architecture, including the Registry Building of the University of Otago, pictured here:

We dragged ourselves back up the hill to our sanctuary, Jeremy got his violin practice in (sounds great with our 12 foot -oh, I mean 3.6m- ceilings), and Fran (yes, Fran) broiled us some lamb and venison burgers before collapsing in bed at 8:30. I read a bit of The Hobbit out loud to the three of us and that was it for day two!

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44 Hours En Route

Denver to LA, LA to Brisbane, Australia, and Brisbane to Dunedin, New Zealand. Whew! My first sketch of the trip, of Denver International, as viewed from our gate in Terminal A:

We had nearly a full day in Brisbane, so we took an Uber (yes, the same) into the city and met up with former Denver legislator Jennifer Veiga. There was a cyclone going on somewhere that meant the day was wetter than usual (I don't know how that works), but not so wet as to prevent us from exploring an awesome playground, sharing a random meal of smoothie, corn dog and "chips" (is it time for breakfast, lunch or dinner? Who knows?), a tropical forest walk with a Buddhist Temple,

and shopping on the Queen Street Mall. The architecture of "Brisbane City" is all mirrored glass and curves, and there is plenty of public modern art. Jeremy said it reminded him of Cincinnati (!?) but I think that's just because it is on a river. When it was time to go back, we took a "City Cat" (catamaran motorboat ferry) on a lazy 20 min ride as far as it would take us toward the airport. This commuter transport had a looping video with various news and advertisements, including horoscopes.  Appropriately, Jeremy's was about an "uncharacteristic travel bug" (he is a self-admitted homebody), Fran's was about avoiding anxiety, and mine was about slowing down so I don't hurt myself. Hmm.

Jeremy was so tired he was in physical pain, not to mention the fact that his stitches from his mouth surgery on Monday were bothering him. But he was a trooper and successfully fought back tears when he saw the passport control line and nearly lost it.

As an island, New Zealand is extremely prone to species invasions; as such customs is particularly tough. We got in trouble for not declaring my hiking boots (soil on them could harbor dangerous critters), on top of sleep-deprived Fran checking the box that said that she didn't know what was in her luggage, and insulting the customs official by bringing cheese to the "dairy capital of the world" (we had been warned that we would miss American cheddar and so I took no chances and had packed a hefty block). And yet somehow they let us through!

(This is a picture I took in customs of forbidden objects to bring in the country as a candidate for the next edition of our Conservation Biology textbook. I was nearly arrested for doing so, as this is a federal 'no photos' zone)

In line to board our NZ flight, we had met up with our landlord's mother and sister (plus a friend), who coincidentally were coming in to visit at the same time. This meant that our landlord was going to be at the airport anyway and so he brought his car for us to drive (on the left side of the road, at 1:30am, in the dark on 2 hrs sleep) to their house. Let's just say that adrenaline wakes up a person, and I was glad for the lack of other cars on the road!

We are now (somewhat) rested, there is a fire roaring in the wood burning stove we use for heat, and food in the pantry. A successful first day. I am marveling at our gorgeous view. More about our beautiful new house in the next post...