Friday, February 29, 2008

Anna's Parental Myths

Before I became a parent, I often heard folks say that all of my ideas about parenting (and I had many) would go out the window when I actually became a parent myself. While I was fully expecting this to be the case, that has been far from true. The important stuff, e.g., the cause and effect of many bad behaviors (parental and child), have been about as I expected. However, there are several ideas that I had that were certainly off-the-mark. The top ones are as follows:

Myth #1) Parents who don't take their children along to evening events are wusses.
What I now understand:
At least some parents don't take their children along because they are protecting their child's healthy sleep. Bedtime is sacred; it is not worth sacrificing your child's well-being just to show them off or save money on a sitter.


Myth #2) Parents often overreact to supposed dangers (e.g. dogs approaching their kids).
What I now understand: Parents are deluged with horrifying stories all of the time that are quite real when you have a child to protect. Supposedly nice dogs maul babies, children kill themselves falling out of open car windows, kids are snatched by strangers in an instant. When you are not a parent, it is nearly impossible to imagine how much you love and care for this dependent creature, who is much more vulnerable than nearly any pet. In other words, now I'm one of those overreacting parents...

Myth #3) There is one size that will fit all- an ideal parenting approach 
What I now understand:  I still maintain that there are some universals, namely, unconditional love, consistency, teaching by example, (and plenty others), BUT it is also becoming clear to me how different children can be from each other in temperment and personality, meaning that approaches and responses to children must necessarily have to be adapted. We are fortunate in that we seem to have a "textbook baby" (to use a term from The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg), since we are fairly good students and can do it by the book!

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